As the non-ADD partner, I dove deep into the thoughts about Who I used to be? Who I am now? and Who do I want to be? These three questions seemed crucial in my journey to healing from anger and resentment. Grief and detachment sat with me, but it didn’t take me long to answer ‘Who was I?. I knew myself very well many years ago. Not everything was roses, but I had dreams and worked hard to reach them.
Who I used to be?
A potter.
In the beginning, it was a night class and a few hours Saturday morning. After a few classes, I turned a spare bedroom into a pottery studio and got a kiln. I was single then and enjoyed spending twenty hours a week on pottery. The quiet time felt rejuvenating and I wanted to perfect my skills. It took patience and persistance. I started to sell my pottery to keep up with the cost of the hobby and started to get pretty good at it. Experimenting was interesting and fun. Opening the kiln after firing was always like Christmas morning.
A fixer.
Years ago, when I was younger, I bought a fixer-upper for my first home. A tight budget was important, so DIY was my way. Of course, I had help from others and I am thankful, but learning new skills was fun and I enjoyed figuring it out. I actually would have been ok with less help. I was never looking for someone to do it for me, but rather, teach me, if anything. Doing things myself gave me great satisfaction, and I had so much energy back then.
Passionate about my health.
I used to be athletic. Drinking green juice each morning tasted good. Hiking 12-20 miles a week was my favorite way to be active. A quick run or getting to a gym once or twice a week was easy. I enjoyed grocery shopping for organic whole food and trying new recipes. I preferred making my own meals and rarely ate out.
A reader.
The stack of books at my nightstand gave me options to decompress before bed. Most were non-fiction and related to a project, skill, or hobby. From time to time, I also liked reading spiritual and personal growth books. I enjoyed exploring the philosophical views of different authors and examining how or if that point of view worked in my life or the lives of others around me. Could I be a better person? What are more ways I can focus on positivity?
A thinker.
I had one master notebook with a list. As thoughts popped in my head, I would jot them down—groceries to pick up, creative ideas to explore, revising my budget so I was doing a good job on savings and retirement. My list was long but always felt manageable.
All of the above was on top of my job–a job that was full each day. My job was creative with ever-changing deadlines and priorities. I managed many projects and got things done. I looked forward to going to work and often stayed late each day. It was important to me that I did my job well and I would aim for higher standards with each project. Each workday was full of conversation so my quiet time, alone, was important to me.
I was happy (mostly), adventurous, and loved working on my goals—I had goals.
I am not that person anymore.
Who were you before ADD was part of your life?
